par·i·ty
ˈperədē/
noun
noun: parity
the state or condition of being equal, especially regarding status or pay.”parity of incomes between rural workers and those in industrial occupations”
synonyms: equality, equivalence, uniformity, consistency, correspondence, congruity, levelness, unity, coequality “we strive for a parity of wages”
August 18th will be the 101st anniversary of the ratification of 19th amendment when when women finally gained the right to vote. On one hand we have come so far from a period when a woman didn’t even have the right to vote much less have the power to run a company, launch a new business or make her own financial decisions. On the other hand… we've still got a way to go.
Even in the 1960’s unmarried women were often refused a credit card and married women had to have their husbands co-sign for them! While we can find exceptions to these rules and badass pioneering women through out history, the majority lived by the constraints of these limitations. Just 80 years ago women were being encouraged to douche with Lysol (YES LYSOL!!!) to remain poised and fastidious. A woman’s role was narrowly defined as wife and mother and often women who could not fit into this box often ended up in mental hospitals, relegated to the status of “old maid” or living on the margins of conventional society.
Since August 18th 1920 we have had the right to vote, we have fought for & won power in the workplace, we have access to effective birth control, sex education and choice over our bodies. Fortunately awareness of domestic violence is ever increasing and there are safe houses for victims and their children to escape to. Women serve the highest political offices on this planet. Women own property separate from their husbands and we can choose to marry or remain single AND we can pursue divorce without having to prove anything is broken.
Slowly but surely we are redefining the narrow margins of feminine beauty and body types. Women of all sizes, colors and ages are gaining recognition and appreciation. We are openly discussing our sexuality and our gender identity. We can love who we love and as of June 27, 2015 just one day shy of exactly 46 years after the Stonewall riots we can marry whomever we love too. If you consider that the very last Magdalene Laundry didn’t close in Ireland till 1996 or read an article or watch even one program on the history of the suffrage movement, it is obvious we have traveled light years even from the days when Jackie Gleason was saying “to the moon Alice.” Yet simultaneously we still have a very long way to go. On average, full-time working women still only earn just 82 cents for every dollar a man earns. The gap is narrowing but it still exists.
SO what does this have to do with healing? What does this have to do with creating a magnificent life? As women it is time we claim the prestige and resources we deserve. However we are still conditioned to put other people’s needs first, we are taught to be self effacing and we often lack the confidence to take on a project if we are not already well regarded masters in the field. Statistically women are less likely to risk becoming entrepreneurs than men and this is reflected in their greater self doubt and less inclination to take chances when they fail a first time.
Perfectionism, low self esteem, over giving and people pleasing are all factors that contribute to why as women we are often still lagging behind. While inequality is definitely a factor, we do have the power to change our part in all of this. Without a doubt all of this has it’s roots in a culture of global misogyny and patriarchal privilege where males and females have been conditioned to behave accordingly.
At this point though, the change is going to come from us ceasing to allow the gender prison to incarcerate us and standing up for ourselves. This starts as an inside job. It starts when we stop using our weight (or some other aspect of our appearance) as the harness that prevents us from believing we deserve to get what we truly desire. It starts when we can simply say thank you for a compliment without excusing it away or crediting someone else for why it was possible. It starts when we can clearly and precisely ask for what we need and want without apologizing or explaining. It starts when we can claim how far we have already come, promote the skills and brilliance we already possess and trust we can learn as we go when we say yes to something new.
Now the challenge is that stepping into this kind of confidence and bold action doesn’t simply just happen because one day we merely decide we are ready for it to be this way. It takes effort. It takes self love. It takes persistence. We must dismantle old patterns of sabotage, self deprecation and people pleasing. We must release ancestral legacies of expectation about what and who a “good woman, wife and mother” should be. For all the days we got knocked down, all the moments we felt threatened simply for being female, all the experiences that hurt us and tried to “put us in our place” now is the time for all these memories to lose their power over us. Because today we have hit critical mass and for the sake of our entire planet, not just ourselves, we women must stand up and be given the resources, power & credit we deserve.
The thing is, when I started trying to run my energy healing/intuitive guidance practice back in my mid 20’s and early 30’s I had NO IDEA that on top of being a woman in modern society, I was also deeply affected by my highly sensitive nature. I did not know all the ways that being an empath was impacting every aspect of my business. I struggled with pricing and even feeling worthy of asking for a buck a minute reading tarot cards. I struggled with picking up the phone and responding to inquiries. I struggled with visibility and putting myself out there consistently. Unfortunately it was even easier to procrastinate because it took a lot more steps to put anything out into the world than it does now. There was no internet or email. Newsletters were printed on actual paper that had to be folded, stamped, sorted and mailed. Articles only existed in printed magazines and newspapers.
Fortunately access to the internet AND being able to recognize and address the ways my empathic sensitivities impacted me was a total game changer. I've learned A LOT since I picked up my first Tarot deck in the early 80's. I've learned even more after opening the doors to my fabulously successful tattoo studio and stepping away nearly two decades later to focus on writing Empathic Mastery and becoming a Master Trainer for EFT International. What I discovered time and time again was that while strategic knowhow was a vital piece of the equation it was all the energetic, empathic and emotional stuff that kept me spinning my wheels and hoping something would shift. You see the thing is… I know what it's like to flounder and struggle. I also KNOW what it's like to succeed. This is why I know the kind of courage, support and emotional resilience it takes to step into our power, claim our brilliance and own our value. I also know it's a hard row to hoe alone. Sorting it all out is a lot to DIY. My 7 week program THRIVE LIVE starts June 14th. This is a place to uncover the mental, emotional and energetic blocks that dim our light and make the idea of taking bold leaps too hard, too scary and too demanding. It's also a place where we'll learn how to shift them. If you're an intuitive, a sensitive, a Lightworker, a rainbow unicorn, an indigo mystic, an earth loving healer, an empathic entrepreneur or all of the above, I've creates a space waiting to welcome you. I'd love for you to join me. Interested? GO HERE 💜!
